The mission was simple. Knight still remembers the first time he heard the director announce the two words that would come to define the last two years of his existence.
“ANNIHILATE MOON!”, said the Director of ASCII (Antarctic Space Centre for Imbecile Idiots). Annihilate Moon? Like, the Moon? THE Moon? The MOON Moon? Everybody was awestruck.
The speech that followed cleared all lingering doubts. The moon was to be annihilated. Lately, it had gotten a bit too reflective. The nights were almost as bright as the day. Even on the nights the moon didn’t shine, some god-forsaken heavenly body was casting even brighter light illuminating the night and incinerating the sight.
During the closing moments, the director took a deep breath and looked at Knight and gave a slight nod. Though utterly subtle and butterly imperceptible, Knight knew his calling had come. In his long and fruitful career as an astronaut on Earth, he could finally race to the space.
Two months later Pen Guin, the mastermind behind the drug cartel that sold AmFishaMine to addicted teen penguins, invested two Gajillion Molars (420 Billion Dollars) and kicked off the “Mooning” mission that would launch Knight to destroy the moon one day.
Despite few complaints regarding indecent exposure, “Mooning” shall go down in the history books as one of the most efficient space programs ever.